My name is Briana

I am but thirteen,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see.

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made my mama mad ?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren’t ugly.

Then maybe my mother would hug me.

I can’t speak at all

I can’t do a wrong

Or else I’m locked up

All day long.

When I awake I’m all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren’t home.

When my momma does come

I’ll try and be nice,

So maybe I’ll get just

One whooping tonight.

Don’t make a sound !

I just hear a car

My mama is back

From Charlie’s Bar.

I hear her curse,

My name she calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From her evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry.

She finds me weeping

She shouts ugly words,

She says it’s my fault

That she suffers at work.

She slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for door.

She’s already locked it

And I start to bawl,

She takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken

And my mother’s abuse continues

With more bad words spoken…

“I’m sorry”!, I scream

But it’s now too much late

Her face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And she finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay their motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

And my name is Briana

Tonight my biological mama

Murdered me.

- She Runs Her Fingers Thruu My Hair

. She Stares me ritee in the eyes NEVER takinn aa second too blink

- She admires me

. She tells me i’m prettyy ; she loves me buhh ..

- I’m disgusted !

. She’s ALWAYS by myy side

- She knows my every thought

. I HATE that I LOVE her

- I run ; She’s Behind Me

. I hide ; She finds me

- She’s EVERYWHERE

. I Cry ; She wipes my tears

- I Hate That She’s My BESTFRIEND

. I let her make choices for mee buh ialways have to bail myself out

- I Yell & Scream at Her . Her Laughter Cuts Me !

. Her Care Is Abuse .

- She STOPS time & I Realize……….

Im Looking in the mirror at myy enemy ; Briana Alyse Jones 

So here we go all over again;

Here I am trying to force you to be my friend.

I’ve said it time and time again that I’ll stop trying to please everyone.

But I guess I haven’t stopped since then.

No more will I cry.

Or even give a sigh.

As far as people they’re not worth

The tears that I shed and as much as I hurt.

So here we go all over again;

A promise I’m going to keep better than then.

Eventually I’ll smile and not hurt.

Because as far as people they’re not worth

The tears that I shed and as much as I hurt.

I’ve been rejected

Disrespected.

Still I rise.

I’ve cried fom sunup to sundown

Still managing to confront you without a frown.

Still I rise.

I’ve been denied.

Tried.

Still I rise.

I’ve been accused.

Misused.

Traumitized.

And confused.

Yet, still I rise.

I’ve been broken.

Mispoken.

Still I rise.

I’ve been a victim of obsession

Deep depression.

Somehow, still I rise.

I’ve been pushed to the side;

Told not to decide;

And yes I even cried.

Still I rise.

I’ve been battered,

Life shattered;

Lost everything that mattered.

Yet, somehow, still I rise.

I’ve been hurt;

Treated like dirt;

Forgetting to stay alert,

Still I rise.

I’ve been treated as a fool,

Used like a tool;

Talked to so cruel.

Still I rise.

Imagine me with no pain.

All smiles, no rain.

Less hatred, more fame.

All calling me by MY name.

Imagine me with no pain.

Few worries, no regrets.

No calls, all texts.

Just me, no stress.

Imagine me with no pain.

Always winning life’s game.

Proudly different, no shame.

Ignoring people; all that came.

Imagine me with no pain.

I’m talkin’ the “good life”, no strings.

No one against me on different teams.

Everything obvious, not as it “seems.”

Imagine me with no pain..

The ones that stay with you through everything - they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate.

You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything.

Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about .